Crazy

I’m not a royal watcher; I really couldn’t care less about any of them. Especially Princess Di. Don’t even get me started on the over-rated, not-that-pretty, what’s-the-big-deal, ex-next-Queen-of-England. But I have to say that I have kinda liked Kate Middleton.

        I think part of it’s because she’s a commoner – or was. One of the coolest things she did was when she got married, she asked the wedding guests to donate to an anti-bullying charity. Turns out that the future Queen of England was bullied as a kid - bullied to the point of changing schools to get away from the mean girls.

        And look at her when she was a kid:

        No one would have expected this plain girl to end up with Prince William. And I still think that her wedding invites should have been printed with this on them:

“What NOW, Bitches.”

        But today I am beginning to really not like her. Maybe even hate her if this comes to pass:

Kate Middleton brings back pantyhose.

Yahoo! Shine says, “…Kate's bringing back the look for a new generation.” And, “Already, the trend has caught on in the UK, with a significant spike in nude hosiery sales since Kate's made them part of her dressing routine…”

       

       


Yeah, that’s right. F-ing pantyhose are coming back.

           And I just have one thing to say, “HELL NO.” I am NOT wearing these instruments of torture and devices of female servitude. I’m not. And I will hurt anyone who tries to make me. If you think I'm wearing pantyhose EVER again, YOU'RE CRAZY!

        Kate Middleton, I invite you to take the South Texas challenge. Come spend an ENTIRE summer here, wearing pantyhose EVERY day, and see THEN if you want to bring these implements of torment back into fashion.

        Until you do this - and survive with your sanity still in check, you and the nylon tubes of itchy and scratchy can go on back to England! Crazy indeed.

        And just to remind you of just how far we’ve come, here’s a little flashback: