Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother

                I am an Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother. What exactly does this mean? This title, not necessarily the song itself, describes this stage in my life – an almost-40-year-old wife, mother of four, and hot-ass babe. OK, so the first three were true.

                I’m up against the wall, the clock, the grindstone, gravity, and the speed limit. I have a husband, four kids, work, and have aging parents and a bunch of other people that expect stuff from me. I am very busy, but it is a joyful busy – most of the time. While I complain about my life, I can’t imagine it nor would I have it any other way.

I am a redneck. I have to say redneck because my husband gets offended when I call myself white trash. Apparently, redneck is a much nicer way to introduce your born-and-raised-in-Northeast-Texas wife to people. Thank you, Jeff Foxworthy. You have made redneck acceptable in polite company. Although I’m a redneck, I’m not racist, homophobic, or an Evangelical. I don’t drive a truck, listen to country music on the radio, or decorate with camo, horses, tractors, or the Texas or Confederate flags. And, I hate NASCAR; it’s boring.

I’m a mother. I have been a mother since January 1999. I have four kids – three boys and a girl. Ages: J 12, G 11, W 6, V 4. After their father, they are the loves of my life, but they are also some of the biggest pains in my ass. They and their antics – purposeful and accidental - make me laugh until I almost wet myself. They also stun the shit out of me – in good and bad ways and cause me to be so mortified that I pray for an opening in the Witness Protection Program. There is so much joy and pure humor in motherhood that I can’t help but sharing it because I’m a joy-spreader.

So, this is how and why I am an Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother. Thank you, Ray Wylie Hubbard.